How to help your kids through their exams
Exams are nearly upon us, and like many parents, you are probably wondering how to help your child without stressing them. While exam stress is a common problem for students of all ages, it can manifest in various ways, including anxiety, worry, and even physical symptoms like headaches and stomach aches. And though stress around exams is normal and can even be helpful, too much stress will interfere with your child's ability to revise and perform well in exams. Here's how to help get them through their exams.
Be there for them
As a parent, it's vital to be there for your child during times of stress. Being there could mean anything from being there in person to supportive texts or just dropping snacks to their room as they revise. A constant presence lets them know that they have support even if they don't want it just yet.
Use active listening
Active listening is a communication technique that involves listening to what someone has to say to understand their point of view. There are a few key things to keep in mind when practising active listening:
Pay attention to your child's body language and tone of voice. Non-verbal cues can provide important information about the speaker's emotions.
Don't interrupt. Let them finish their thought before you respond.
Ask clarifying questions. This shows that you are paying attention and want to understand what the speaker is saying.
Paraphrase what the speaker has said. This helps to ensure that you have understood them correctly.
Respond in a way that shows that you have listened. This could involve offering support or simply acknowledging revision and exams are challenging.
No fixing
As parents, we have a natural instinct to fix things for our children. We want to see them succeed and be happy and often feel we can help by solving their problems. However, around revision and exam time resist the urge to fix things and allow their children to learn from their own experiences.
Offer support, not solutions. Let them know you're there for them and believe in them. Only offer solutions if they ask for them.
Sometimes, the best way for a child to learn is to make their own mistakes. If your child is determined to do something their way, even if you disagree with it, let them decide. They'll learn from their experience and be better off in the long run.
Resist checking on them to see how hard they are working
There's nothing worse when you are stressed about your work than having someone keep asking if you are working hard, how much you have done and what you have done.
While you may be doing this to motivate your child but be aware that this has the opposite effect and adds to their stress load. Instead of saying, 'How much have you done?", ask, 'Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Is there anything you need?"
Be gentle with them
You may be able to see very clearly what the source of their stress is, but if they are very stressed, remind your child of their strengths and the progress they've made so far. Positive affirmations can go a long way in reducing exam-related stress.
At the same time, encourage self-care. Healthy eating, exercise, and enough sleep are key to limiting stress. And above all, keep the lines of communication open.
Ask if they need extra help
No matter how late in the day it is, it's always possible to get the help of a teacher, tutor or counsellor.
If your child won't talk to you, find someone they trust. The proper support, whether it's academic or emotional, can make a real difference to their stress levels and exam performance.
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